Dream
by Otori0
Summary: Judar is gone, and Hakuryuu has to face a depression like the one he felt when his brothers and father died.


Hakuryuu dropped down with a thud, trying to regain his balance by getting hold of the sink he was in front of, his hands helplessly slipping and ending up over his lap. His mouth was dry yet wet, uncomfortably filled with a nasty smell, and a little string of saliva mixed with a brown liquid stained his chin.

He got up with a big effort, even if his legs trembled and begged him to sit down again. He looked at the sink and the mess he did vomiting inside it. The toilet was surely a better option to puke in, but Hakuryuu hadn't had the time to think about which one to use.

His stomach still ached in an unbearable way. This pain reminded him a lot of when his brothers and father died. The same nauseating feeling, the same dizziness and sickness. After all, Judar "died" just some days ago. Hakuryuu didn't know if he would ever see him again, but he wanted to believe he would. However, his pessimistic mind said otherwise. He would never meet Judar because he couldn't return by his side.

His hair, eyelashes, red and piercing eyes, mocking smile, clothes, almost perfect skin, feet, hands; everything disappeared in a matter of seconds. Hakuryuu couldn't barely imagine he would miss him that much before he lost him. Judar had created an important place on his life and heart without him knowing.

"Ah, there is it again. The feeling like everything around me is about to collapse and break me apart. Rip all my limbs and torture me until I give up and die. But I won't die, because then everything would be in vain. I don't want his efforts to be in vain. They won't be."

Hakuryuu rinsed and cleaned the sink before finally leaving the bathroom. He felt too empty, maybe because he just threw all the food out. How did he even get so attached to Judar? Hakuryuu thought not an inch of love and kindness remained on him after falling, but it seemed he was mistaken once more.

It was quite funny to think he was still able to feel like that despite of the insensitivity and lack of empathy he killed thousands of people with. If there was still some humanity inside him, that would be all of it.

Today he felt worse than normally. His mind hurt a lot and his despair was accumilating. He took some pills out of his drawer and took them in, without any water. Hakuei warned him not to abuse of these drugs because it could be dangerous –this happened back when Hakuyuu, Hakuren and Hakutoku died, and Hakuryuu experienced a similar crisis–, but he long before stopped obeying his sister or anyone else.

His pain was slowly fading, and he layed down on his bed to get some sleep. The last thing he thought of before losing consciousness was Judar.

The sky was clear and beautiful. Hakuryuu couldn't recall when was the last time the sky looked so pure and clean for him. Somehow, it filled him with a soft feeling and made all his worries go far away.

"Hakuryuu!"

He would recognize that voice in any place and situation. Hakuryuu's eyes widened in surprise as the other man got closer to him, with his usual grin on his face.

"J, Judar? But... why?"  
"That doesn't matter, does it? I came back for you. You should be grateful!"

Hakuryuu felt his eyes wet with tears and didn't wait a second to embrace Judar in a soft but tight hug.

"You're late, dumbass. I missed you." Despide of his words, Hakuryuu's voice was trembling and he worked hard to keep his tears from fall.  
"What's with that? At least I made it up."  
"Yeah... Thank you..."

Hakuryuu smiled, happy from the bottom of his heart. Nothing could make him so happy that being with Judar. He felt like his life had a meaning at last.

Not being able to keep his urges back any more, Judar leaned in Hakuryuu and pressed his lips against his, gently but passionately. Hakuryuu was caught in surprise, but returned the kiss gladly, wrapping his arms around Judar's neck, despite of their height difference not being much now. He couldn't bring himself to care about something like that at the moment.

"I love you. I really, really love you." Hakuryuu said once he parted away.  
"I know." Judar smiled in a very more kind way than ever before, caressing Hakuryuu's cheek softly, which was tainted in a faint pink. "And I feel the same."

They kissed once more, more calmly and steadily than before, just enjoying it and forgetting everything else.

Sleeping, Hakuryuu couldn't feel the cold tear that fell down his non-flushed cheek. He felt like freezing.

**Yeah, short and sad but here it is... I want them to be happy but I love writing angst**


End file.
